Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Keep Love Alive v. 3

Welcome to v. 3 of Keep Love Alive!  I hope you have enjoyed these little encouraging posts as much as I have!  I love finding ways to work on my marriage... no relationship is perfect, and there's ALWAYS room for improvements.

This week is brought to you by a fellow blogger and friend, Andrea.  Her blog is full of family fun and her cute little Lucy!

Hi! I'm Andrea. I'm a stay at home mom, Pastor's wife, general crafter, and blogger. I was asked to do a guest post for this series, and I'm so excited to get to share with you a little bit about marriage! I love marriage, and being married, and I love seeing marriages thriving! So, a little about me...

Opposites attract, or so I’m told. I’m also living proof. In high school, Wesley was the guy who came to school late and left early, he drove a lowered Dodge Dakota, and he raced four wheelers and rode BMX bikes. I got to school early, made straight A’s, did my nails on Friday nights, and was as plain-Jane as they come.  I was the “good girl” and he was not the guy you wanted to bring home to mom. And of course, I thought he was fine!

By the time I was a junior, (he had graduated before me) he had gotten saved, and was starting to help a youth minister at a church in our area. So of course, I asked his brother to set us up. He fit my list! Christian guy. Not long after that, we started dating.

I guess because of our differences, we broke up, and went back out and broke up again, and went back out again. Too many times to remember. I moved to college (just to JCJC, not that far away) and that set something off. He told me that if we ever started dating again, he would ask me to marry him. And that is exactly what happened!

I got married when I was 19, after (on again, off again) three years of dating (although I knew who he was since like 5th grade). Most people would say, “That’s too young!” And honestly, I would agree – but this is what God had for me. I knew when I was 16 that I would marry Wesley, and looking back I wouldn’t change anything. We’ve been married for 7 years, we have a 1 year old baby girl who showed us what love really was, and we are more happy now than we were on day one.

So what advice would I give to people thinking about getting married or who are in a marriage?

Christ has to be first.

If Christ isn’t head of your household, followed by your husband, then things will never run smoothly. That’s how God intended it.

Be able to talk, AND listen, to your spouse.

- “Communication.” It’s always the first one on the list, but it really is most important. If you can’t tell them the truth, and can’t talk things out, things will be much harder for you in the long run. Second on that – be able to listen – you aren’t perfect, either. It’s not always their fault.

Don’t go to bed angry.

If you do, you’ll just have more time to dig up more stuff that you want to be angry about. Wes and I joke that we argue all day, every day. But with that – nothing builds up. We don’t have blow out arguments where we throw things. We keep everything in the open.

Respect, especially outside of the home.

If you blast your husband to your friends, that impression will stay with them. You don’t want people thinking negatively about your husband, and your husband doesn’t either. Respect each other – especially to others.

Be involved in their interests.

If your husband loves the races, go to the races. If your wife loves flea markets, go to flea markets. Marriage involves sacrifice. You knew that going in! It will definitely make your marriage stronger doing fun activities together. Lets call them, Day Dates!

Don’t take it personally!

If your husband comes to you and confides in you – don’t always take it personally. My husband once told me that he felt like I was letting myself go a little (after I had our little girl.. ok, a year after…). It hurt, but I started realizing, that he was right. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I did need to make some changes. If your husband or your wife cares enough to talk to you about this – that means they really love you and are in it for the long haul! On that same note – if your spouse blows up at you after a long day at work – it probably has nothing to do with you. We tend to take things out on the people we love, instead of the people who are bothering us.

There is no secret method to having a perfect marriage. The secret is – there is no such thing as a perfect marriage – because we are not perfect people. But we do serve a perfect Savior who can help us have a GREAT marriage, especially if we keep Him in it.


  1. I'm liking this series :). My DH and I have only been married for a little over a year, and are definitely still figuring things out. While I know each couple is different, I definitely love hearing how other wives handle their relationships and take their advice to heart. Thank you for posting! And thank you, Andrea, for sharing your story!

  2. Anytime! Marriage can be the best thing ever - but it definitely takes work!